The Island of Lost Choristers: It's a Chor'Us' not a Chor'Me! 

I am indeed in this picture! 

I have been thinking about this topic for a long while. Choir has played a major role in my life.

My love for music started organically, and by that I mean I was captivated by the music of Disney at a very young age. I would sing along to the opening of The Circle of Life, and of course I couldn’t resist the vocalises of Ariel and Aurora. Then my parents discovered a community choir (led by Ann Cooper-Gay) that was an accessible and affordable — at the time — after-school activity for their four children.

My older siblings were in the “Big Kids” choir and my other sister was in the children’s choir. At this point I was too young to join. You had to be eight. So my mom or dad would come to rehearsal with all four kids, and while my siblings were rehearsing, I would sit, squirm, and watch. Eventually I learned all the songs — well, all the melodies at least — and really enjoyed my Tuesday evenings in that church basement.

Eventually I got to join the choir, and I loved it. They did make an exception and let me join at six years old, but it was only a matter of time before the choir decided to pursue the market of five- and six-year-olds who wouldn’t shut up.

Was I too young? Likely, since I took phrases from the conductor literally when she said, “You need to get this music in your body.” I did, in fact, have bite marks on my music. But it really was my happy place.

Eventually Ann moved on to conduct the CCOC full time and Zimfira Poloz took over the children’s choir and then the senior choir. We sang amazing repertoire, did some comical choir choreography, and I was in heaven. Besides fostering the joy of singing, that community choir delivered so much more.

Because Zimfira was teaching some courses at “the Faculty,” I had an interesting mentorship opportunity fall into my lap when I was fourteen: to sing St. Johannes Passion with the MacMillan Singers. Two other girls from the choir and I attended rehearsals led by Doreen Rao and participated in two performances conducted by Helmuth Rilling. At the time, Elaine Choi, Maureen Clark, and Mark Vuorinen (just to name a few) were doing their respective studies. The community choir also brought us to Festival 500, Montreal, and Germany.

So twelve years later I graduated from the community choir (and high school too), and that was the end of the beginning. Then it all got real.

Amanada Chin and I

University Concert Choir.

I was excited to be led by an intense female conductor. I remember being inspired at the first rehearsal by her intensity and really looking up to her… until the second rehearsal. I was seventeen when I started university. I made the mistake of addressing her by her first name, and she followed up with, “It’s Doctor.” After I apologized and corrected myself, she proceeded to walk away.

I loved the music. That semester we sang Bernstein’s Chichester Psalms, Ramírez’s Navidad Nuestra, and another piece I can’t recall. It was awesome. However, the rehearsals were intense. She would call people out individually and often made comments about what people wore and looked like. She would yell. She would shame. It felt like power was part of the rehearsal dynamic. She often demanded that we meet her at her level and that “the walls should shake!” on fortissimos, leaving everyone hoarse for the rest of the day.

After the concert 

Many bright-eyed singing students like myself eventually quit the choir because of that experience. Some colleagues never sang in a choir again. I could go on about this, but it’s honestly difficult to recount.

If it wasn’t for my singing lessons with Stephanie Bogle, I probably would have considered studying something else. Stephanie — and the other voice teachers, for that matter — had to deal with the aftermath of these rehearsals. Mostly the vocal impact, but also the emotional impact. I must have cried at least twice, and I know my other singing buddies cried to Norma and Catherine.

Stephanie urged me to get out of the choir as soon as I could. Though that would have been the right choice, I didn’t. I was too upset that this experience was ruining choir for me. So in second year I came back. I kept my head down, finished the course with an “A,” and never took it again. Well, I did audit the semester she programmed St. Johannes Passion, because no one was going to get in the way of me singing that piece. She let me participate after some strategic diplomacy on my part, which included saying I would take the course the next semester… which was funny, since she had to watch me cross the stage at convocation a few months later.

Cantabile Chamber Singers(Sony Centre)

I finished my university studies and couldn’t get into GGS. After my third rejection, I gave up and continued taking lessons with Stephanie. At that point in my life I was singing in a church choir and with Cantabile Chamber Singers. CCS was definitely my favourite ensemble I have ever sung with as a chorister. I loved the community and the music was a lot of fun. I miss the singers all the time.

An honourable mention to Maureen Clark, who still sings with CCS. I went to high school with her daughter. Maureen always encouraged me to sing and to keep at it. She doesn’t know it, but she encouraged me at times when I really needed it. Thank you, Maureen.

CCS with Counterpoint Community Orchestra

I loved choir, but my voice has always stuck out. CCS was great, but I didn’t blend very well. So I found an opera chorus — Opera York. A fellow soprano from my church choir joined me to sing in their production of Lucia di Lammermoor. It was a great cast, and I was definitely in a new kind of happy place.

After that production, I learned about an upcoming production of The Tales of Hoffmann with Summer Opera Lyric Theatre. I auditioned for Henry Ingram with the Doll Aria (since Guillermo Silva-Marin was unavailable), and Jennifer Tung was at the piano. A few weeks later SOLT offered me the role of Olympia. That was a transformative summer.

in the role of Olympia

That fall I joined Opera in Concert’s chorus and learned a lot very quickly — especially from Bob Cooper. I think of him to this day when it comes to tuning, timbre, difficult rhythms, and entrances. His gestures made challenging passages feel easy. He cleaned singers up musically without ever making anyone feel stupid or like they didn’t belong.

After The Rise and Fall of the City of Mahagonny 

Ultimately, I am grateful to my choir community for encouraging me to keep singing. Sure, university choir was rough, but the chorister friends I trauma-bonded with are still lifelong friends. The chamber choir and church choir communities cheered me on when I got auditions or solo opportunities. The opera chorus community always made me feel like I belonged — and that I deserved to be on that stage.

What I am getting at is this: community was essential to my success.

Now why all this talk about community? Because I believe we all need more choir in our lives. Daniel J. Levitin explains far better than I can in his books I Heard There Was a Secret Chord and This Is Your Brain on Music why singing together matters. Singing with other humans is an incredible artistic experience, and it’s a beautiful way to connect with people you might never otherwise meet. There are also ways to do it for little to no money.

If you’re interested in joining a choir, reach out. I can point you in a direction — or just check the Canary Pages in The WholeNote for a list of choirs.

Though there is work to be done.

Conductors need to give sopranos a break. Singing soprano as an adult in choirs can be challenging because you are constantly told to sing pianissississimo and often with little to no vibrato. That has been the experience of many sopranos I know. The word “soprano” is grammatically masculine in Italian — historically tied to male and boy voices — which makes it ironic when adult women are continually asked to suppress the natural resonance of their voices. Straight tone has its place, but asking grown singers to abandon healthy vocal production entirely is unrealistic. Each voice is unique and belongs.

Environments where singers don’t feel comfortable or vocally safe only hurt the longevity of a choir. Ensemble morale matters — especially when your audience is largely made up of community members who want to see their friends, family, and colleagues sing.

I want to circle back to something my teacher once said: “You must leave the choir as soon as you can.” In my case, that advice was tied to vocal health concerns. But many colleagues at other institutions were told the same thing for a different reason — because they were “soloists.”

Singing teachers, I beg you: please stop framing choir as lesser. Many hearts will be broken when a shining star student isn’t selected. For many singers, choral singing — especially seasonal work like Christmas services — provides more reliable income than solo engagements ever will. Relatively few singers build sustainable careers solely as soloists, simply because there aren’t enough jobs.

If you isolate yourself in the box of “I am only a soloist,” you may be making your world smaller than it needs to be.

Community singing is not a step backward.
For many of us, it is the foundation.